EPIC Evil

Evil

Platypus

Irritates

Carnifexes

TRD 8: Buried Treasure

The Pirate from the Edge of the World was just minding his own business, burying some booty, when that dastardly Celt started chopping through the bottom of the page...

rolls eyes= you can't see me, but i wanted to make my annoyance apparent.

giggle giggle snort= I'm making fun of you. subtly.

toastified= 1. screwed 2. really, really drunk/high 3. destroyed 4. transformed into toast

obvidently= combination of "obviously" and "evidently"

paper clips= holy crap they're shaped like trombones!

goddamn you princess= expression of exasperation. no I am not actually calling you a princess.

mildly= 1. opposite of majorly 2. I'm feeling it, but not taking it seriously (i.e. mildly offended)

EPIC

Extraordinary

Pirates

Inventing

Crayons

If your a superhero you get money for college!

So like most college students i am broke beyond belief. Since i habitually suffer from this i random surf the internet for new and exciting scholarships! yeah, i know i am lame. Anyhow i found this scholarship, where the essay question is if you had a superpower what would it be and how would this help you. The essay has got to be less than 250 words, and this essay is the only real question they ask. GPA, clubs, saving kitties, and other usual things people care about are not considered for this scholarship. in other words it was actually fun to apply too.
here is the link if you want to apply too!
http://www.scholarshipexperts.com/showApp.htx?appId=10621&src=em_cd_spss

the below is my response albeit the unedited version. The truth is though its a lie, i rather have the ability to fall asleep on a textbook and wake up and inherently understand the knowledge it contained. However i felt that would you know would make me look lazy. which is true but the image you want to send to people with money.

I would want my skin to impervious to damage. As a chemistry major and a klutz, I feel this is an evolutionary must.
I can not remember the number of times I have tripped over my own feet and scraped my elbow. Or how many times I got a little silver iodide on my hand staining it brown for a week. With such a great gift of impervious skin, this bruise free me would be just the beginning.
I could become more heavily involved with the research we do on campus. Especially the really dangerous parts, with unstable chemicals. while not having to worry about losing any of my flesh. I would also be able to walk down a flight of stairs and after eventually tripping over my feet I would not have broken a bone.
unfortunately, impervious skin would have a couple drawbacks. I could never get another shot from the doctor... actually that sounds like a plus. Despite being left vulnerable to the flu without a vaccine, it still sounds like a positive. Then again if my skin was impervious i couldn't give blood anymore. This would be a shame, but the no shot thing is making me extremely happy right now.
The one superpower I would want would be impervious skin, and it would help me in my future career paths. enabling my penchant to explore the scientific road despite its many dangers.

And So it Begins...

Well, summer is officially here. Everyone's moved off campus (some only temporarily...I do believe Siobhan is actually already moved back in.). As summer begins everyone is switching out of school mode. Oh how I wish my only concern was for how long I could lay out in the sun, but alas, reality hit soon after Jeremy left my house.
Currently, the house is discussing what dishes and other kitcheny items to bring next year. I think we're all excited for the House of Epic. So far I think we have the basics. (Although still looking for a good set of knives (for the chopping boards...)) And Jamie found a wok?!!! Erin's currently raiding her parents basement for items to steal. And I'm making an attempt to reorganize all of my college stuff. It's kind of taken over both the living room and basement. I've already thrown away a whole garbage bag worth of stuff. The idea is to consolidate. Next year, in the House of Epic, space will be at a premium. At least we assume.
In other news, Cincinnati is absolutely gorgeous at the moment. It's not too hot, and not too cold, and the skies are a bright blue. Currently I'm sitting out on my front porch. Although its a tad chilly here in the shade. I spent my job researching and applying for jobs. I need something for the summer because I almost refuse to go back to Kings Island. While I enjoyed the people I worked with, and the job. The hours were rather inflexible and I dealt with people (guests) who literally thought the Effiel Tower in the Park was the original from London, England....(yeah, explain THAT one to me...) Currently I've applied to Barnes and Noble, Bath and Body Works, Yankee Candle, and Borders. Borders is the only one with a job opening, and its within their cafe. But still. I also am sending an application to Deerfield Township, where I live, for a camp counsler position. We'll see if I get it. I dont' exactly have the qualifications at the moment. But I'd be willing to attend CPR and First Aid classes. I've let mine lapse. I used to hold my certifications in them. The job would be amazing because it's Monday through Thursday 8-2. So I'd get weekends off to visit Jeremy!!!! ;) which will challenging none to say the least. A four to five hour drive awaits me if I want to see him. And his business is booming this year. He's booked solid for the next three weeks. But alas.

I guess that's all for now. I think most everyone else is busy trying to start their summer...

-Sarah

Thoughts of a Monkey (take 2)

At Boll, our main computer is mostly on screensaver. We, as a group, collect demotivational posters to put as the screensavers. So.. when I'm bored, I've decided to post them as Thoughts of a Monkey.. (here at Boll, we are known as monkeys, its a general theatre term..)

Thoughts of a Monkey

A reflection on commas

Just a little observation:

As an American, when I see a comma in a number I immediately think "thousand". So when something costs 23,00 Euros my initial reaction, however brief, is "HOLY CRAP, 23,000!?!?" Then I notice there are only two 0's, not three.

The shock was fleeting, but it was there. After the first or second time, you remember and are no longer freaked out of your mind at how expensive everything seems. Then you just know that 23,00 is really 23.00.

Then after you've spent a lot of money and are comfortable with this whole comma thing, you remember that 23,00 isn't really 23.00. It's really $30.95.

Now imagine this whole process happening over and over again, and you've just had a typical tourist shopping experience in Europe.

How I Spend My Weekends (In a really non-social way...)

Friday:
Class 9-1
Work 1-5 (normally)
talent show/ concert 5-11
bed hopefully by midnight??

Saturday:
irish dance concert 9-5:30
ethics group meeting 6
homework/dinner
maybe actually hanging out with friends???

Sunday:
I think I get to sleep in...and I don't think I work...
homework!!!

upcoming schoolwork:
ethics project (due thursday)
dynamics homework
mechanics homework
calc test
dynamics test
finals
ethics final? (my prof is really cool, the final is optional!!!)


oh to be an engineer...I love my major. I love my job. Things just get a little stressful at times...

AND NOW BACK TO OUR NORMAL PROGRAMMING!! ;)

(I'm not creative... I blog about my life, its trials, tribulations, and small enjoyments...)

Bored at Work 3: Easter Edition!

Happy Easter, Everybody!

Here's a fun Easter game for all of you!

The Easter Bunny hid 5 eggs. Can you find all 5?

Did you find all 5 eggs? Yay!

Bored at Work 2: Tug-o-War

Team 2's strategy centered on their high ground advantage. Unfortunately they learned that high ground is more of a disadvantage when it comes to Tug-o-War.

Team 1 had gravity on their side. Yeah, laws of physics!

An Engineer's Pick Up Lines...

I won't stop bugging you until I get the address of your homepage.
You fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus.
Since distance equals velocity times time, let's let velocity and time aproach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you.
My love for you is like a concave up function because it is always increasing.
Let's convert our potential energy to kinetic energy.
Wanna come back to my room? ... and see my 300mHz Pentium II?
How about you and me go back to myplace and form a covalent bond?
You and I would add up better than a Riemann Sum.
You're sweeter than fructose.
We're as compatible as two similar Power Macintoshes.
Why don't we measure the coefficient of static friction between you and me?
Wanna see the programs in my HP?
Your body has the nicest arc length I've ever seen.
You're hotter than a bunsen burner set to full power!
I'd like to browse through your clothes like I browse through Netscape.
Hey babe, let's make a stress-strain curve together.



with many more to come....like top ten reasons to date an engineer....

break seems to be going well. I've been trying to get homework done on top of everything the family wants to do. Tomorrow we go to repair my glasses, and then do homework all day. My ethics class has an interview paper due soon. And I have a calc test on thursday. So while everyone else enjoys break, I am the typical engineer, stuck inside on a gorgeous day doing homework. (although i did wash my car today...) see you all back on campus on Monday!

Bored at Work: Meet Calvin the Crane

This is Calvin. Calvin is a Crane.

Calvin used to live in pristine waters so clear you could see the rocks below.

Now Calvin’s home waters are dirty and polluted. Calvin’s wings get stuck in garbage.

You can save Calvin.

Protect our wildlife, and keep our waters clean. Don’t pollute.

Anti-Freshmen gun

In order to protect the EPIC house from stupid drunken freshmen we have our anti-freshmen gun. I feel our beer will be safe from them now.

Artful pickup lines

Continuing the trend of pickup lines:

Here are a few artsy pick up lines

"Sorry for staring, I thought your face was a work of art."

"Baby you're so fine you could make an impression on Monet."

"How about you and I go downstairs and brush up on our strokes?"

"Until I met you, I never really understood Van Gogh's motivation for mutilation. Please stay away from me, for if you break my heart, I shudder to think what I would cut off."

At an art museum: "Here I am, in a city of millions, surrounded by some of the finest works of art known to humanity, and all I can look at is you."

In front of a Picasso: "Picasso's rabid intensity is revealed often in his work. Really though, he was lucky. My rabid intensity only shows up in the bedroom."

For a graphic designer:

"I wish I had an eyedropper to capture the color of your eyes."

"Has anybody ever told you that your teeth have perfect kerning?"

"Come back to my place and I'll show you a really naughty way to fill up some negative space."

"If I went to a stock photography site and typed in the keyword 'sexy' I bet there'd be a picture of you."

"I like my fonts sans-serif and you sans-pants."

Baby, we have chemistry!

Becuase math lines while convincing are not fool proof. If you really want to score a date, use chemistry!

Really Awesome Cheesy Math Pick-up Lines!!!

How can I know so many hundreds of digits of pi and not the 7 digits of your phone number?

Since distance equals velocity times time, let's let velocity and time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you.

I am equivalent to the Empty Set when you are not with me.

I don’t like my current girlfriend. Mind if I do a you-substitution?

Hey, baby want to Squeeze my Theorem while I poly your nomial?

Hey...nice asymptote.

I don't know if you're in my range, but I'd sure like to take you back to my domain.

Your beauty cannot be spanned by a finite basis of vectors.

Honey, you're sweeter than pi.

If you were sin x and I was cos x, then together we'd make one.

Battle Scene (TRD Part 7)

I didn't want to traumatize anyone so here's a nice, soothing self-portrait:

cool places = anywhere that sells novel or unusual foods.

squeegee = 1. old, ragged, not highly valued (usually clothes/shoes) 2. those really awesome

sponge thingys

shindiggythingy = meeting, event, party, etc.

thingything = whatchamacallit

semi- (i.e. semi-arbitrary) = sometimes, for the most part

savez = from the french "savez-vous?" which means "you know?". The original ancestor of

"savvy" before those English bastards bastardized it.

inane = meaningless. not to be confused with "insane"

comments = often cryptic, usually meaningless words spouted seemingly at random. frequently

intended to provoke a specific reaction.

Margin Text: The battle scene was deemed too traumatic. Here is a picture of a cat.

TRD Part 6

I have two words for you: Epic. Battle.

weird = high praise. normal is boring.

normal = a rare, possibly fictitious breed of human with magical powers over social norms. No

sightings have been reliably documented, and all attempts at breeding one in captivity have

failed.

sailor = one who drinks, swears, and messes about in boats. particularly adept at doing all 3 at

once. see also "pirate".

boat = just remember, your bed is one.

Summon The Celt! TRD Part 5

He has a really big...well, you know.

uh oh = some shit's about to go down.

oops = don't look at it, maybe it will magically fix itself! not to be confused with "opps"

don't be hatin = see "I don't wanna hear it"

LIES! = 1. FALSEHOODS! 2. UNTRUTHS! 3. FALLACIES! 4. PURPOSEFUL

MISCONCEPTIONS!

neither here nor there = 1. important but irrelevant 2. experiencing a time-space paradox

snarfed = ate quickly and without finesse

with avec much skill and finesse = the only way to accomplish anything. exacto knives are

optional.

loser = an affectionate nickname

Margin Text: I may be wearing a skirt, but I have a really BIG AXE.

Ninja Dude Returns (TRD Part 4)

Who is that mysterious dude climbing up the side of the page?

shadowflash = Rachel's personal insignia. Also her most common online alias.

random = 1. apparently illogical 2. ulterior motives 3. refrigerator says what?

question mark? = I am confused. Please elaborate.

nomnomnom = 1. sound made when in the process of eating 2. the mating cry of Rachel

lad/lass = archaism which Rachel tends to slip into when stressed. sometimes accompanied by a

faint celtic accent.

Piracy At The End Of The World (TRD Part 3)

You know the drill.

pirate = 1. YARR!!! 2. the Hubbard clan 3. an excuse to be loud, obnoxious, crude, daring, get in

people's faces, drink a lot, and sing at the top of your lungs at 2 AM on your way back

from the ghetto. also see "sailor"

I love (object or idea) = I like it a lot and think about it frequently.

I love you = no translation available

mmm = noncommittal sound of acknowledgment. I heard you, but I'm probably not going to do

anything about it.

grrr = now would be a good time for you to leave.

(low rumbling noise) = either frustration or contentment, depending on context.

clan = conglomeration of friends, acquaintances, and extended family, usually based around a

biological/unbiological family.

Margin Text: salmon.

The Rachel Dictionary, Part 2

Since I have crappy handwriting, the text is replicated below the image.

legit = imate

gank, ganked, ganking, ganker = steal, stole, stealing, thief. not to be confused with "shank".

I don't wanna talk about it = seriously, drop it already

please stop = I'm *this* close to violently freaking out so please, please, PLEASE stop what you're doing.

I don't wanna hear it = 1. yeah, yeah, whatever 2. details, details

details = 1. removed tails 2. those little annoying things I hate 3. (sarcasm)

Margin Text: Interrupting Cow is interrupting your reading.

An Epic Is Born...Or Two.

So I was really, really bored at work the other day (hey, it's not my fault I'm super efficient) and I decided to begin the Rachel Dictionary in order to enlighten people who are frequently confused by my phraseology. I doodled in the margins while I tried to remember all those important Rachelisms, and thus was Ninja Dude born. Therefore, without further ado, I give you:

The Rachel Dictionary:

Long Words, Short Words, and Non-words.

HUNGRY! = my stomach's talking to my backbone, where the f*** is my food?

hungryhungryhungry = I am now focused entirely on the prospect of food. If you want me to pay attention, feed me.

hungry, I am = I am going to eat your food. This is your last chance to hide the crack brownies/chex mix.

I don't eschew obfuscation = I like big words.

floccinaucinihilipilification = the estimation of something as valueless.

ness = stuff

arbitrary = 1. random 2. aesthetic 3. insignificant

ninja = n. the Hubbard clan v. 1. to sneak 2. to

Challenge...

Here's another challenge inspired by Sarah's!

It's from "Sideways Arithmetic from Wayside School", one of my favorite books when I was a kid!

(Yes, I used to be a math nerd before turning to the art side)

elf

+ elf

______

fool

Each letter stands for a digit. So, what do e, l, f, and o stand for?

Challenge...

If...
2 + 3 = 10
7 + 2 = 63
6 + 5 = 66
8 + 4 = 96

what does 9 + 7 = ????


a math challenge given to me via email. the answer was the code to open an excel file with names of everyone who solved it. decently impressive. i needed a break from homework, this is what i do....

A Delayed Saint Patty's Day Post

bottle of vodka...........$15
24 pack of Nati...........$20
green food coloring... $3
mixers.........................$20
solo cups......................$6
late night pizza...........$11

Being the only sober one in calculus at 11 on St. Patrick's Day: PRICELESS

The meaning of EPIC

What exactly is EPIC?

EPIC is:

Excellence

Professionalism

Innovation

Creativity

In other words, the house of EPIC is just that: epic.